“Why would she do
that to you? You just started working there. That’s not cool. ” I said through
the phone.
I hear a long sigh
and then, “I know. I don’t know what to do! I was really excited about this job
and now I have to deal with this co-worker. I don’t know what I did to her, but
she does not like me. What should I do?”
I
recently had this conversation with a good friend, Alyssa. She was hired about
4 weeks ago at a restaurant and despite her initial excitement about the position,
a co-worker was making her experience miserable. She explained to me how this person would
make mean and sarcastic remarks at her and would complain about her to fellow
co-workers. Alyssa even told me she was already feeling worried because she
felt like her co-worker was just waiting for her to make a mistake and report
it to the supervisor. This person was preventing Alyssa from building good
relationships with other co-workers. Since the rude co-worker had been working
there longer than her, she didn’t know if it would be worth it talking to her
supervisor.
So, what do you do when a co-worker is
bullying you? Is there a solution and what’s the best way to go about solving
the problem? Bullying at work isn’t
uncommon and it’s a sensitive issue. There may be a time in the future when you
encounter a similar situation. Handling this kind of obstacle can be very
intimidating especially in cases where your co-worker is your superior, has
been there longer, and is using tactics to undermine your position. I wanted to
find the answers to these questions for my friend, for my own future, and for
the benefit of my peers at UC Merced.
It’s important to know that each
situation is different and if it’s possible, a great way to help you resolve
the problem is to find out why they might be treating you this way. It is
possible that the co-worker is intimidated that you will take their position;
it might be advantageous to try to salvage the relationship by reassuring them.
For example you might say, “You really know a lot about this. Do you think you
could help me?” According to Susan M. Heathfield, a
management and organization development consultant and human resource expert, a
work-place bully usually will not go away on its own accord. In order for the
problem to be resolved, you need to make efforts to face the problem. This takes
courage but will mostly likely lead to a resolution and a healthier and happier
work environment.
Heathfield explains the first step
towards dealing with a work-place bully is to set boundaries. Think about the
bully’s behavior and how it is affecting you during work. Then, talk to the
bully about how their behavior is affecting you in the workplace and what
behaviors you are not willing to tolerate. Try to refrain from vocalizing your opinions,
instead focus on the facts. For example, if the bully is snickering loudly with
a nearby co-worker about you, pull the person aside and calmly tell them that
they are preventing you from doing your work and also bring to their attention
that they are being inappropriate and you won’t accept being treated wrongly. If
this does not help the problem, Heathfield suggests a more confrontational
approach such as by calling them out on their unprofessional behavior, even if
it is in the presence of other co-workers. For example, if the co-worker is
yelling at you or using profanity, direct their attention to their behavior by telling
them they are yelling at you and decline from carrying on the conversation
until they stop.
An
important part to approaching this situation in the most professional way is to
document their behavior. Make sure to write down the details, place, date and
time of the incident. Offensive emails should be saved as well. If the other
attempts to explain and confront their behavior aren’t working, the next step
is to get outside help. Talk to your
manager or Human Resources department. Your work place should have a policy of
confidentiality and
documentation helps to insure that you have specific
examples and, if possible, hard-copy evidence of your bully’s behavior.
Heathfield concludes her advice with
realistic wisdom, imparting “Hope for the best resolution, but be prepared to
explore other options so you have less contact with the bully. You may even
need to find a new job.” This might be a harsh reality, but if after all these
efforts the bully is still making work an uncomfortable place, it’s not in your
best interest to continue working there.
No one should have to be in a position where they are being put down or
mistreated. A lesson that is best articulated by Mark Twain, "Keep away from people who try to
belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make
you feel that you too can become great.”
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